In developments that our editor refuses to call fishy, China‘s geopolitical muscle-flexing has led to a major exodus of marine wildlife.
Schools of petrified fish were observed to be fleeing in panic moments after Xinhua announced that the Bay of Bengal was now officially part of the South China Sea.
This is based on recently discovered evidence that Ming emperor Long Wu had once peed out of a porthole while sailing through.
Some of the slower moving fish are reportedly leaping into fishing nets.
Attempts to make the Indian aircraft carrier Admiral Gorshkov seaworthy have been speeded up.
Meanwhile, back on dry land, seafood prices in India have skyrocketed. In Calcutta, hordes of prawn-deprived citizens confronted Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee, but were too terrified to say anything.
The Communist Party of India issued a statement condemning the incident, but no one knows what it said, since it was in Chinese.
The Indian government has reacted swiftly. In a hurriedly arranged press conference, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has promised to address the worried nation, “as soon as madam comes back from her morning walk.”
- Mamata Banerjee ‘the tigress of Bengal’: Shiv Sena (ndtv.com)
- Mamata quits UPA, says she’s not scared, will ‘live like tigress’ (ndtv.com)