I refer to the Daily Telegraph UK 2011 article Material girls that appeared on the Malaysian paper, The Star, August 26th. I was completely shocked and appalled by the said piece. Though, said article was disgusting and truly sad, nonetheless it was sad but true!
The writing of Malcolm Moore was peppered by incontrovertible facts and armed by undeniable data which came from the government itself.
As a philosopher, an international observer and a social science lecturer, I was morally shocked by what is happening now in Chinese society. Imagine, before a man there could even propose a marriage to a prospective wife, he must have a house, a stable job which pays big salary, and of course part of the deal is the car.
To my mind, the China that I knew no longer exists. It is the China that is known all over the world for their close family ties, strong adherence to social values, and extreme love and respect to their love-ones.
That China is now dead! It’s gone!
Capitalism and globalization has killed that society, including its moral values and centuries of ethical principles which was given and handed to us by such moral teachers such as Confucius, Lau Tzu and Mencius.
Moral values and ethical principles attributed by Wikipedia to Confucius such as:
When the stables were burnt down, on returning from court, Confucius said, ‘Was anyone hurt?’ He did not ask about the horses.
The passage conveys the lesson that by not asking about the horses, Confucius demonstrated that a sage values human beings over property; readers of this lesson are led to reflect on whether their response would follow Confucius’s, and to pursue ethical self-improvement if it would not.
Confucius, an exemplar of human excellence, serves as the ultimate model, rather than a deity or a universally true set of abstract principles. For these reasons, according to many Eastern and Western commentators, Confucius’s teaching may be considered a Chinese example of humanism.
Today, due to the betrayal of the young generation to their own humanism and their hyper worship of money; instead of giving value to human relations; they focus more on material possessions, instead of family; they demand money; instead of faithfulness; they want investments.
Instead of a loving home; they prefer a lavish and big house; instead of the humble walk in the park, they aspire for the latest cars; instead of looking for love; they settle for material comfort and financial security; instead of genuine marriage, they settle for comfort and convenience.
Humanism was replaced by materialism; dignity by money, ethics by economics and love by prostitution!
Sad but true!
Consider the straight-forward opinion given by that 24-year contestant:
“I would choose a luxury house over a boyfriend that always makes me happy without hesitation”. So, to this girl, the important thing is the luxury house and not the boyfriend that makes her happy. That is her concept of happiness. Further, she added and demanded that: “And my boyfriend has to have a monthly salary of 200, 000 Yuan (RM 92, 560)”.
I am wondering now, what is the difference of this girl from a prostitute? You may say that I am harsh in my analogy; yet let me state for purposes of the record that I meant what I asked! I will argue that the said girl is a prostitute herself, though a high-class one! Why?
If a girl would marry a man not on the basis of her love or affection to him, but solely on account of his bank account, his high-paying job, his huge house, his money, cars and other material possessions; then that is not love, but rather the heights of financial opportunism, truly an economic exploitation and undeniably without an iota of doubt, an emotional prostitution of the lowest kind.
If these are the kinds of women available in society; then I would rather marry an ‘ugly duckling’ or a simple, yet genuinely pure woman, than give in to the caprice and virus of those so-called “material girls”, even though they are young and pretty; because this girl of mine, this love of mine would not demand so much beyond my means. She would not bother me with accounts and finances, because we perfectly knew and understand where we stand!
She wouldn’t mind even if I only have a small hovel, so long as I go home and be with her, she wouldn’t care if I only have a simple paying job, because she is well aware of my economic status and I am giving her my entire pay-slip, she would not demand that we buy a car, it would be enough and sufficient for her for us to walk together hand in hand in the community park, she would not demand something that which I cannot give, she will be happy and contented of want I can provide base on my humble means.
She will love me for what I am, me as me and I will love her for what she is, not for those material possessions which she does not have.
I am a sentimental fool, but a genuine, pure and true lover nonetheless! I am a lover in the tradition of Romeo!
In the immortal words of Pablo Neruda:
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.
The reader may accuse me of being a hopeless romantic freak, yes I am. Love is free, it is pure and virginal. It is immeasurable and can never ever be buy; nor can it be auction for sale. Love is not for sale. The market can never invade the domain of genuine affection nor could it ever conquer the realm of true love! It is in this indubitable sense that: love and prostitution are irreconcilable! Love is unquantifible. Incontestably and irrefutably true!
To the Chinese society of today, may I remind them of these proverbs that they themselves have given to the whole world:
Money can buy you a house, but not a home;
Clock but not time;
Bed but not a good night’s sleep;
Books, but not knowledge;
Doctor, but not good health;
Position but not respect;
Blood but not life;
Sex but not love.
In the end, love is still and all that matters!
Absolutely true!Written by:
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
- China Needs to Ease One-Child Policy, State Researchers Say (chinadailymail.com)
- Moral Integrity and Trust: A Virtue and a Responsibility (watsup09.wordpress.com)
- The Anonymous Chinese blogger and the Jasmine revolution (chinadailymail.com)